Ice Cream Shower

Inspired by two post-cards bearing “secrets” of two strangers. One read “I love ice cream” and the other said “I did not shower today”.

I have no job.  My roommate ate the mail.  I am a serious putter-offer.  This is why the gas supply has been shut off to my humble abode.  As a matter of fact, it’s such an issue that it was turned off illegally in the now dead of winter, it’s seven degrees outside with a wind chill factor of -186 and I race home from the train stop to get inside and escape the frigid air, but! Oh wait it’s actually somehow colder in here.

“Sun don’t shine in a place like this” Daniel says.

And with no major utility the whole house is frozen, the couch is frost-bitten, the rugs are miniature ice-skating rinks, the TV picture is permanently frozen on a still frame of a Snuggie infomercial, the sink vomits stalagmites, the coffee is cold and the food is uncooked.  Just then and idea hits me…Shower.  Oh…wait…the gas company heats that too.  Unfortunately, I’ve already gone a week and a half without undergoing a single hygienic ritual, and so it looks like I’m bound for many more.

But! There are upsides to every disaster!  My chocolate milk in the fridge has officially turned to ice cream.  And, I’m pretty sure this is the poor man’s version of eternal life, good call Walt Disney.

THE END.

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